How to Bluff the Nuts!

Welcome to today's class, please take your seat. Today you will learn the secret art of "How to Bluff the Nuts!" (also known as the "Art of Burning Benjamins"). What I am about to tell you is a secret strategy that has been passed down through the generations and up until now has only existed in the shadows. Light a candle, dim the lights, and I will tell ye a story that will make your bankroll shiver with fright...

To Bluff the Nuts you have to have a small devil sitting on your shoulder preferably no taller than four inches. He will whisper paranoia into your ear saying "Hey kid! He's making a move on you, go all-in". You should respond "Right away Lucifer!" and proceed to Example A:

Folds around to BTN who raises to $4, SB folds, I am in BB with 66 (one short of the devils area code) and raise it to $15, BB thinks and min-raises it to $30, "Hey kid, its that move I was talking about" - OH NO HE DIDN'T!, I raise ALL-IN to $108, BTN calls and flips over AA. NH

The next night, which was a full moon might I add (werewolves?) a flop comes down KT3 rainbow, I bet pre-flop so I continue on the flop with my QJ $8, guy bumps to $28, I call, Turn K (KT3K), I check he fires $30, I push for $80ish, he insta-calls with 33 (set).. I am drawing dead. Thanks Lucifer! I enjoy burning money, whats next?

OK how about we don't bluff and just call of our stack shall we? We shall! I have T6, Folds to blinds and we check it down (Pot $2), on the river SB pushes all-in having me covered ($118), the pot is $2 and here's the board Q 9 5 J 8 . I time down to the last second and think there is no way a KT plays it like this and my finger like a retarded chimpanzee hits the call button. Villain shows KT and I win the award for King Donkey for the night.

Despite these HORRIBLE plays by myself I am only down around -3 buyins at 100NL ($300). Luckily I have over 40 buy-ins at this level or I would go into Def-con 4. Instead I am going to take a break tonight and just not play poker. Another thing I am happy that I made these mistakes at 100NL and not 200NL which I plan on playing sometime next week.

Class is dismissed...